I’ve always liked having something to look forward to. As a child I would count down in my head the days (remember it used to be days, not ‘sleeps’ that the we counted?) until the end of term, birthday parties, holidays, Christmas and other special events. This is of course all fine and very natural and after all, sometimes the excitement of waiting for something to happen is actually as exciting as the event itself! But what about when you find yourself daily wishing time away, hurrying along time in order to focus on the exciting, fun stuff. Does this mean that we miss out on the moment? In wishing time away are we losing out on those small ordinary moments that make life wonderful?
Perhaps we are. And I for one, am very guilty of this.
In the last year or so I’ve caught myself focusing on having something to look forward to. Whether it has been Gabriel and Willow returning home after a weekend with their Dad, a holiday or weekend break with Rich or a festival or special event over the summer. I have looked forward to all these events and have spent minutes, hours and days urging time to hurry up and let them happen so I could enjoy them.
I have always been fairly impatient. When I was a child I couldn’t wait to be a grown up. When I was at school I couldn’t wait to go to university. When I was at university I couldn’t wait to complete my degree and begin my career. I was also pretty impatient when it came to pregnancy and becoming a Mother too! It’s no wonder I am looking at the calendar waiting for the next big thing that’s what I know and what I learned over the years as a child. Perhaps I kept with this focus because reality hits us all once we reach adulthood; suddenly we realise money does not grow on trees, adults in our lives are not superheroes but in fact, real people and not everyone in this world of ours has nice intentions. We have stresses, difficult situations and often mundane daily tasks that we would all rather not be bothering with. Our minds focus on the good stuff, the things that are about to happen or going to happen soon and it allows us to breathe, it keeps us battling through and motivated until we get to that end point of whatever it is we are looking forward to.
In our lives we manufacture our reality based on our thoughts, so if we are living in avoidance, focusing only on the future, surely it makes sense that we are going to miss a huge amount of current reality?! It is exactly this, that occurred to me this last few weeks, wishing time away is utterly wasteful. Whilst it’s a good thing to have a focus, it’s also so important to acknowledge the little things around us that are enjoyable and actually create our ongoing happiness. So this from week, I am going to take a step away from future events and excitement. I am going back to basics and actually looking at what is around me, taking in what is happening right now. I’m going to attempt to enjoy these moments, even if they aren’t exciting or on the face of it, enjoyable because sometimes it’s the simple things that we ignore or remain unappreciative of that actually feed our wellbeing isn’t it? I have also realised that by wishing the days away like I sometimes do, I am actually wishing away my children’s childhood too. I want to savour the time I have with them as children, the months and years are passing far too quickly as it is!
Reminding ourselves of the current moment is important to keep things in perspective and it also allows us to create more memories. I think in life we learn to love and adapt ourselves, create social connections and through experience, become who we want to be. So I am going to attempt to take in each chance to discover, relax and to learn how to have a more positive and balanced attitude to life. When it gets to Sunday evening, instead of dreading the week, or even feeling sad that the weekend is over (we all do it!) I will tell myself to make the most of now. I want to be grateful for every moment of every day.
We can spend every day wishing for something, but I do not want to waste time any more. Time hides from us all the tiny moments that make up our lives and what makes them wonderful. Embrace them and refrain from ignoring them.
Time, I am sorry for wishing you away. I have realised I need all that you are and all that you can offer me.